The true definition of mental illness is when the majority of time is spent in the past or future but rarely living in the here and now. Shannon Alder said that and my goodness how true this is.
We allow our past experiences to control our lives through our emotions. Our emotions end up dictating how we live our lives. This can cause a long list of problems such as anxiety depression and many more. Just these two issues can wreak havoc on our health and can also harm relationships over time. It has taken me more years than I care to admit to learn about my mental illness. I’ve lost family and friends along the way on this mental journey.
What we don’t truly understand is that all emotions stem from thought. If you’re like most people you probably spend little time reflecting on the way you think. The way we think about ourselves turns into reality. Unfortunately, my emotions had taken over my life at an early age. I had visited doctor after doctor to get understanding and validation for the way I was feeling but instead was given pills to mask the cloud of emotional and physical trauma I had experienced in life. I never knew I was my own worst enemy. I had repeatedly sat and thought about all of the negative situations throughout my life, not knowing I was setting myself up for a life full of misery.
My self-talk had such a destructive control over my mind that I didn’t know I could stop it in its tracks. I didn’t understand that with each negative thought brought on more and more emotional pain, and it amplified any physical pain I was experiencing at the time. I was giving all of this realism that wasn’t even their.
Now, the older wiser me has come to the realization I had manifested a life I hated, that I wanted out of. I was ready to do whatever it took to change it. I started out by being mindful of every thought and action. Emotions are never simple, they often require taking a closer look in order to know what we are dealing with and how we can best handle them. When we validate our emotions, we become more aware and accepting of them.
Then, in this place of awareness and mindfulness, we see the power of our thoughts and how they are controlling us. We must sit with our emotions and really fill what they are doing and where they’re coming from. Witness how certain situations change how you feel, But you mustn’t stay in these emotions for too long, because those bad emotions can send you on a rollercoaster ride from hell in your mind before you realize it’s even happening.
Be aware of any triggers that spike those emotions, what pushes your buttons. Be mindful of your words at a time of an emotional situation, because words you say in the heat of the moment can’t be taken back. I am so guilty of this.
For example, when my children don’t do as I ask over and over I start to get angry I start to feel unappreciated and disrespected, and before I know it I am screaming at everyone. Then everyone is upset, with doors slamming and everyone saying things they don’t mean, but that doesn’t mean words hurt any less.
Now, Because I stay aware of my emotions I understand that, yeah same old thing. They are brats and they don’t always respect me all the time. So why waste time and energy on getting mad and yelling? That only causes everyone else to act emotionally in return? Which then becomes an emotional battle with everyone within their own minds.
By recognizing those feelings I’m no longer giving the emotions power over me. I feel it trying to rise up in me and simply say, I don’t have the time or energy for these thoughts. This is something we must practice daily. Hourly if you have children. Lol
We must ask ourselves are these thoughts based on truth or are these thoughts based on ideas of the truth? We tend to make things a bigger deal then what they truly are.
I’ve also found that at the moment of an anxiety stress-driven situations, it can be slowed down by writing it in the time in which it is happening. “Who knew?”
